


The Mercy Part

by jb_slasher



Series: The Inevitability Of It All [5]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Arsenal FC, Borussia Dortmund, Community: 31_days, FIFA World Cup 2006, Implied Relationships, M/M, author is not fluent in German
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-18
Updated: 2006-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-02 20:51:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4073482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_slasher/pseuds/jb_slasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Tomas comes back to Germany, for possibly the last time, looking for redemption. His transfer to England is done and sealed. He's glad to have a new life somewhere else. He will leave his pain here. He will be happy again.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mercy Part

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 31_days, July 18, prompt: "Days of grass and sun."

It's the last game of the season (against Bayern München, nonetheless) and then it's over. He's on the bench, witnessing Bayern's mighty glory. These are the Champions, no stopping them even with a 3-3 tie. For Sebastian, the wait for the World Cup begins.

He slumps into the tunnel, back to the dressing room. Metze is just heading for the showers, Koller already heading out. Some take losses and ties harder than others, even though they know winning wouldn't make any difference. Dortmund still wouldn't have celebrated their win: that was never a reason for people to come here today.

Sebastian merely grabs his bag and heads for the bus. His season is over, now he just wants to get home. But he notices his cell phone is gone and comes back looking for it. He finds it under the bench, under the rack where his shirt would have gone if he had played. But something's not quite right here. He hears water running but it's something else. Something in the showers.

And just before he sees it, he knows.

Metze still in the shower. Fucking Tomas. Tomas who is looking at Sebastian looking at them. Sebastian can't see the look in Tomas's eyes but he imagines there's no emotion there, that what Tomas would say would be that it's just a fuck, that he doesn't care.

Sebastian should be over it by now. But he can still feel the cracks in his barely-healed heart. He can still feel a piece of it missing.

He turns away from the scene, disturbed by the sight, by the effect seeing him doesn't have on Tomas.

On the bus, he tries his best not to cry, doesn't look at Metze and Tomas as they pass him by, but eventually he has to cover his face from the world and let the tears fall. He hates those tears: they were supposed to be long gone by now. They betray him with their existence. They make him weak.

He hates to be human (to have feelings).

Because, to him, Tomas is not (doesn't have).

 

Tomas comes back to Germany, for possibly the last time, looking for redemption. His transfer to England is done and sealed. He's glad to have a new life somewhere else. He will leave his pain here. He will be happy again.

But not this time.

They start well and Tomas takes those goals, owns them. (Brian McBride.)

The second game. Goes down before them. Two-nil for the enemy and they can't get up. (Michael Essien.)

The third game. They are fucked. And out of the World Cup. (He goes back to Petr, mourns for the team, and for himself. Mourns the loss, and Sebastian. But he doesn't tell Petr that because Petr thinks he knows what this is about. Tomas won't complicate things; Tomas is quiet and mourns with him.)

 

(He sees Sebastian walking away from their loss, crying, with Per by his side. He cries then, realizing just then how big his mistake is.)

 

Their big win and Schweini with his three goals (and Sebastian could never have done that, save his team, bring them glory: the coach made the right decision back then).

Like the town whore, Sebastian goes around the team and hugs everyone once (even Metze), twice, Per four times just because he can and no one will look at him and think he's something else than this.

Poor Per with the crutches but Sebastian manages to keep him upright, though just barely, considering Per is not a small man. A bit skinny, (every mother-in-law's dream of a son-in-law and Sebastian almost wishes he had been born a girl just so his mother could be proud of him for _once_ ) so tall, but so young too.

_notathoughtsparedfortomasiloveperfuckthepain_

(He sees Sebastian with Per. Hugging Per. Just being near Per. To the end of their celebrations. The bronze, and someone to love him. That's what Sebastian deserves. What Tomas couldn't give him. Tomas takes another hot shower, on his knees under the spray he curls to himself and wishes for something else.)

 

It's August already. First game of the season is here. They ended against Bayern, they start against Bayern. The sun's last rays bid them farewell and let the match start. Tomorrow, Per will be on his feet against Miro, Torsten and Timmy. They have a tie now as "Das Team, Das Es Konnte" and playing against one another will never be the same.

Sebastian will never take Per down, he promises that to himself.

In a short period of time, his burden has grown smaller. He no longer carries a pain that he once did. He no longer tries to shelter his heart from further damage. Because he knows that, with Per, he is safe.

 

(He is alone here. Nothing is fine.)


End file.
